What happens in the space or gap between having a dream and witnessing its manifestation? Whilst there are lots of useful suggestions around about how we might mindfully observe what is occurring for us and choose our responses, I want to give attention to the fatigue, anger, frustration, irritation, sadness, grief and sense of desperation and despair that is evoked when our long-held dreams, yearnings and hoped for intentions do not seem to come to pass. These feelings and sensations can grip our bodies in overwhelming ways and we might ponder what meaning there might be for us in the midst of these challenges. We might drift in and out of hopefulness, exercising a sense of faith and acceptance, at times, as we wait. We might appeal to the ways of coping found through our religious or spiritual practices – or practices that aren’t defined by either, yet are equally supportive. Whatever our individual story, most might posit that the waiting ‘space’ can be wholly tough. Waiting can sometimes evoke anxiety, rage and shame – whether we acknowledge or experience it consciously or through its more unconscious expressions (through our dreams when we sleep, our bodily responses, tiredness and dietary fluctuations, our slips of the tongue, etc). Whilst soothing has its complexity, perhaps, at times, we need to be encouraged, held and affirmed in our waiting. This isn’t to escape the suffering, so much. Perhaps there is potential healing in having our suffering witnessed and acknowledged in the midst of what might be a lonely, isolating, barren time. I shared a short video on my Facebook page, a few weeks ago. It captured me in the midst of my own tears and challenge of waiting.
As a counsellor, I approach my work as a wounded healer, who has and does take the time to sit with my own wounding. I’m no hierarchical, pious authority and I offer these words as a reflection on my experience. Through a sense of shared suffering, I sit with others as a soul companion, walking alongside for a period of time. Perhaps this video, shared from my heart to yours, may offer you something in the midst of your liminality, where nothing much seems to be occurring; the wait might feel endless and simply breathing one breath at a time, might be all you can do. My words offered here and through this video may not quite reflect the intricacies of your situation, nor may they relieve your challenge. Yet, perhaps the sharing of my soul might find some way to palpably reach yours.